I recently have been frustrated at all the harsh criticism of parents. Specifically relating to the tragedy in Colorado. I'm sure these parents have a lot more to worry about than some random person judging them for taking a young child to a movie. So I came across this article about how easy it is to judge others. I definitely feel judge when dining with other parents. What they don't know is my daily therapy session with my daughter trying to get her to eat different foods. How a cupcake's icing is scary to her or a cookie that isn't a treat but a challenge. How I see other kids happily eat and their parents take it for granted. So this is a small excerpt from the article that hit home with me. Maybe next time we will all remember it before we cast that glance or whisper to our partners...
My day-to-day routine isn't what I envisioned it would be four years ago. Some of the things I imagine I'm judged on now are minor, others, a little more major. But mostly they are simple faults and I now know that they don't make me a bad parent. Sometimes I leave dirty diapers on the changing table. My children's socks don't always match. I forget to brush my daughter's hair. I use TV as a way to take a breather. I utilize the fast-food drive-thru. I bribe. I'm sometimes too easy. I'm sometimes too hard. I sometimes make the wrong decision, give the wrong punishment, ask too much, ask too little. But within all these minor and major faults is a singular truth: Most days, I'm doing the best I can. And I honestly believe that's a truth that can be applied to most parents: Most days, we're all doing the best we can.
Because here's another realization I've made as a parent: Everyone's situation is different. There is a story behind every action and inaction. Every parent has his or her own style. Every child has his or her own temperament. What might be a stellar day for my family has been a downright awful day for another -- perhaps the parent's job is in danger, their parent is sick or they just had an argument with their spouse. Perhaps the child is failing math or being bullied at school, or the toddler hasn't slept for two weeks. This can explain the short-temper in the grocery store or the harsher-than-necessary punishment, or the lack of care when it comes to sweets or TV or a late bedtime. We don't know, can't know, someone's entire story."
