To my kids or anyone else that might need it,
Sometimes there is something in your life that you think you could never do. If you're like your mom, you may accept it, joke about it, and even complain and make excuses. Then maybe, just maybe, you start listening to that little voice saying what if, maybe, possibly. If it is something you've always wanted to do, try it. That's how your overweight, tired mom got herself off the couch and became a runner. At least I think I can call myself that now.
Mommy always had bad knees and a general level if klutziness. But I started thinking that if I could walk, maybe I could run. So I branched out...waaaay out. Not only was I going to start running, I was going to run with another mommy I'd only recently met...and push the two of you while I was at it. I didn't have a lot of confidence, but I was going to try.
The first day, Beth (my partner) and I hit it off really well, but the running and I didn't. I only started out running for about a minute. One lousy, stinkin, minute...and it was hard. Like really hard, embarrassingly hard. I kept thinking that I needed to do it for you guys, for your Daddy, so I didn't quit on Beth, but not for me. So I did it for them and you and slowly, it changed. I saw it started to be about me. I enjoyed the challenge to go farther than I thought I could. Running cleared my head, made me proud of my body. The body that was tough enough to labor with the two of you. I was a rock star...
Until I was running for five minutes. Yep. You read that right, five little minutes almost defeated me. Suddenly in crept the doubt that if I struggled with five I'd never do thirty, the guilt about forcing you guys into a stroller for an hour three days a week, and the aches and pains telling me quitting was an option. But you know what? I kept with it. I tried it for another week. And I did it. Every time I hit a hurdle, I just jumped over it and kept on going.
I'm not going to lie to you, some days still sucked. But on those good days, you couldn't stop me. I started running for those and that feeling. And it came more often than the bad days. I started surprising myself.
Next thing you know, I'm signed up for a 5K running for 3 miles nonstop! Now I'm slow and its not pretty, but I did it. And its a big deal...i couldnt even run a mile in 8th grade! I've reached my goal and getting there was amazing. And I did it with you, your Dad, and some awesome friends by my side. But I'm not stoppin.
So my sweet babies, someday you'll need to hear this story about how your Mommy took control of her life and made something great happen. Because in that photo, I just ran a 5K and I am smiling! You can do it...whatever it is. And I know how hard it can be to overcome your body, your fears, your insecurities, and even your guilt. Just remember, I love you, I believe in you, and I'm your biggest fan.
The end...and beginning.
